should i tell my ex i miss him reddit

I wish he had. Sometimes I miss the silent treatments. Should you tell your ex-girlfriend, fiancé or wife that you still love her? It was really exciting at the beginning and we both thought it would go really far. I do have an online journal/diary that I write in every once in a while, and it is therapeutic to look back on it, and to write thoughts out. Acknowledge it. I understand why the way he and why he acted the way he did because of his past, but it doesn't excuse his actions in any way. Press J to jump to the feed. I miss him, and I miss my boyfriend and the combination of the two sentiments is very strange to me. I am friends with his brothers so I have been to his house but we never said a word to each other or even looked at each other. He never hit and would never hit me, but he would rant about my mom and blame everything onto her to deflect any sort of responsibility away from him, and not wanting to get caught in the fray I would listen and agree with him (I was in middle school and had a frog for a brain). This past week I've been really missing my ex and in my heart I believe he misses me too. Coach Lee 73,041 views. He told me he had a girlfriend back home and I openly told him about my broken relationship with my now ex boyfriend. tl;dr: I miss my ex, don't want to go back to him, trying to figure out how to stop thinking about him. Last time I saw him he said he didn't want me back but then he started asking me if I had a boyfriend, like he always does & I'm really debating if I should tell him in person or write him a note. Yes. My ex has a new girlfriend who he's madly in love with. Aomeday we might be friends, but for now she's a memory. My brain has been trying to tell my heart to forget about him; that he wasn't right for me and he manipulated my emotions. - Duration: 9:11. I hope not; I've never asked her that. Please let me know what you think, I would really like to stop missing him or at least determine why I'm missing him. Breakup, Dating, Ex, Ex Boyfriend, Ex Girlfriend, Ex Husband, Ex Wife, I Miss My Ex, Love, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Social Media. I'm still young, so I'm sure I'll have more epiphanies in regards to that. But i miss him and i wanna hug him im overtly flirting with many boys and i feel bad im too touchy (to the point of bed sharing) with my close guy friend. One of the reasons I find it all so weird really... Normal? Meaning you already know that he just isn’t that into you. Okay, so pretend you do say that. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I miss staying up until dawn playing mine craft with her, scary movies, playing sports, eating junk food, crazy hikes, arguing about medical stuff. You Start To Really Miss Him When You See Other Couples. I won't label the traits I got from him as negative or positive, because I wouldn't be who I am today without them, and I like who I am. Since the week I broke up with him, there only things that have been exchanged has been a text saying that I forgive him, and that I was sorry too, because he posted an apology on his tumblr to me. :). Plus how to get him to miss you back and if it’s a sign he has feelings for you. I started dating him about four months after I broke up with the other guy; we had gone on dates for three months prior to being an official couple. You might fake that smile when your peers tell you that you should be happy because you are not in that harmful relationship anymore. I am so lost without him, but he says he doesn’t want to get back together. They helped create who we are today. Make sure that you think long and carefully before you make any rushed decisions that you may later regret. You had shared ideas, shared goals, a shared life, for a very long time. . But I, too, eventually came to agree that, ultimately, most effective healing route is: EDIT: To be more detailed (ha), one thing I took away from that is that the people who caused the problem can't help each other, regardless of their intentions. My attitude towards my mom improved 1000% and I really love her. My current boyfriend understood that I wasn't over him, and it would take time, but was willing to stick with me as long as it didn't become a love triangle. We’ve talked enough about why you should never use “I miss you” phrase as a way to get her back. We dated for 3 years and he was an awful person. I miss it. When we became an official couple, I wasn't completely over my ex, but I was confident that with time I would forget about him and stop missing him. And I can tell you. We had a messy break up- I broke up with him because he wasn't treating me very well, and I told him that some of the things he would do would be considered emotional abuse, which I still believe. My reasoning for sending that was that if I say goodbye, wish him well, and delete his number, it would give me the closure I needed, or start a conversation that would result in that. - Duration: 16:34. I haven't talked to him since and it's been a little over a year since we broke up. Pretend you really do tell your ex that you miss them and that you want them to love you, pretend that you hit send, and pretend to factor in the inevitable 1 to 24 hour(s) of heart-pounding, stomach-burning, nausea-inducing time spent waiting for a … It's been almost a month now since we ended things. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. It's somewhat therapeutic to go back months and years to review what was on your mind. Tell your boyfriend though, why not? Like if the feelings between you are not mutual. So I don’t know if I should tell him that I miss being with him, and that I want to see him, and I miss having conversations that are not work related. Not impacting day to day life at all, outside of feeling a smidgen guilty which has been alleviated by these kind responses. He has a lot of issues he never addressed until very recently, PTSD among them, and consequently they festered and spilled over onto everyone close to him. Why would this girl miss that guy if he didn't treat her well? I know it is. I Miss My Ex. I don't want to get back together with him, I just want to be friends. I had a dream about him last night, and I've been thinking about him since I woke up. I cared about him A LOT, and still care about him a lot, even though we haven't talked in a long time. He ended it, saying he didn't feel the same any more. This is how I feel about it too. I would suggest ending the intermittent contact with the ex. My Ex (late twenties) and I dated on again, off again for around three years in a very tumultuous relationship. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. S Kisa Recommended for you. This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. My ex and I broke up a while ago after five years as a couple. But she'll always have been a huge part of me. Is It OK To Tell Someone You Miss Them? My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been dating since late spring. Try and focus on your life and try and get over him before you rush back into anything. I had him blocked in every way for a while because I was so upset that I knew if he sent me anything I'd explode on him, and I didn't want to do that. Despite the fact that I am happily married there are times when I miss women that I dated 20+ years ago. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. And maybe she feels like she deserves the treatment she gets. Tell the truth. Then we dated for five years. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Pros and cons, I owe alot to her. We broke up for a variety of reasons some of which mirror yours. Coach Craig Kenneth 40,433 views. My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been dating since late spring. My ex texted me that last week. Just after Christmas, he started being in contact less, and witholding affection when we were together. We've spoken twice since then, both times him calling me. Idk if i should have posted this on here or in relationship advice. Romantic Hint Recommended for you. Some days are better than others; some days he isn't on my mind at all. He says he needs to work on himself and find happiness. Maybe you can’t tell how much they miss you because they put on a strong front. It's Christmas though, and my first Christmas in four years without even his friendship. Does this sound like anything you've gone through? :/ does everyone feeel like this after a break up if so how long after will it go away? This feeling of waking up from a dream and missing him has happened to me perhaps two or three times over the last year, and always passes within a day or two at the most. That said, you'll have to figure out a way to adapt to your new circumstances, such as your comparatively slower life (re: your second bullet). Is this normal? She's very kind and empathetic, and I really regret how I treated her when I was younger, and that I didn't stick up for her when my dad ranted about her (which I do now). /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. It feels like a stretch), -There was a lot of things unsaid between us, at least from my perspective, and I just haven't gotten closure from time passing. we broke up...and it was all his fault. Congrats on your current relationship, at any rate. He said he doesn't know how to be in a relationship since it's been years. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. I thought of it because of how you said you miss how poorly she made you feel, making you feel like an idiot, etc. Heck, I'm even majoring in Mental Health and Human Services. This is understandable…but a sure sign you should not tell your ex you miss him is if you’re currently involved with a new man. So ... should I tell my ex I miss him just so we can be friends and I get my hugs? My Ex (late twenties) and I dated on again, off again for around three years in a very tumultuous relationship. Related: Ways We Rationalize Abuse and Blame Ourselves Instead . If you really think it'll help, you could send one final letter to him covering as many of those "things unsaid" as are really relevant to still address now, but you must not expect anything of it, not even a response from him. Perfect. If you don't tell him, you miss him, you may miss out on getting him back. Should I tell my BF that I miss my Ex? It's a gamble but it's worth it in the long run. I know it would be hard for him, because I would be a reminder of something he lost. In addition, I started dating a new guy (another reason I refrained from contacting him- I didn't want to jeopardize this relationship) - he is wonderful and treats me extremely well. Babygirl (64121) ... My ex and I have dated twice the first time he cheated and the second time he just stopped talking to me and he would leave me on open but tbh i still love him and I always will I didn't feel like we were in the same page. He miss me why. Should You Tell Your Ex How You Feel? .Your Ex Feels the Same Way. Nothing is too blunt as long as it's constructive. Cookies help us deliver our Services. If you tell him you miss him you make take the risk of getting hurt BUT at least you spoke your mind. I later found a post on his tumblr where he claims I lied about my time with him being meaningful, which is absolutely NOT true, but I was determined to get him out of my mind for good so I didn't say anything. Women don’t respect guys who have to use tricks to hide their insecurities. December 31, 2013 Donald Specter Leave a comment. The only real healing that can take place must be completely and entirely away from each other. Don’t be afraid to say things like that to her. She wanted to know, “Should I text my ex boyfriend I miss him?” I think that’s a reasonable question and a pretty common one as well. Dear Ex-Boyfriend - Duration: 3:01. I def do not want to be with him, but today feel a little sad about the whole thing. Then I lost my best friend. So you don’t have to ask “Do they miss me?” You can be assured. It shaped my opinion of my mother enough that I hated her throughout high school, and I was really mean to her. I don't think she should be with my dad because he doesn't treat her as well as she should be treated, and she's threatened divorce when things got really bad, but I know she loves him and doesn't want to leave. He would also rant about the government, Monsanto, people who had done them wrong in the past, etc. So we decided (or i guess trying) to be friends. I wouldn't want him to tell me, because it would make me feel really terrible. Then go on to build your new dreams. Yes. Cutting it all off feels way too simple, and it feels like you are letting go of something that seems like it could so much more easily be improved through action more than inaction. You think back about all the good times you both shared or the little things that made her special; it is very common to … THEY MISS YOU. 6:22. I'm trying to figure out why I still miss him, ten months later. A guy wants and likes to know he’s missed by a woman he has feelings for. That’s just the way it goes. A few weeks later I get a drunk text full of gibberish. Why he didn't say it to me directly, I don't know. Spending time with other happy couples will make you feel miserable, which in turn will make you miss your ex-boyfriend, even if he was a complete and total jerk. we stoppe seeing each other about 7 or 8 months ago. Throughout this time I went periods of time without checking anything related to him internet/social media wise, but every so often I lose willpower and check again. I love him, and miss him very much right now as he is home for the holidays. I unblocked him when I cooled off. He would very much like to have me back in his life, but I am 100% not interested. I can identify with those feelings as well. By watching my parents interact, they provided my young mind with a model of what a relationship should look like; how the two people should treat each other. If you’re dating someone else and think you should get back together with your ex, break it off with your current partner first. What do you think that the benefits of telling him would be? :/ i misss cuddlingg! This is why guys like to be shown how you miss them. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. But here we go. I miss him like crazy and it hurts so much to see him loving someone else. my boyfriend and i got together last october. She was a great friend. Is it important to tell my boyfriend (who very much values transparency in a relationship), or should/can I just let it pass? At the time, I had actually agreed with him, but as time went on and I wasn't under his influence anymore, I realized it was completely not true and he had just used it as a tactic to make it seem like it was my fault; playing upon my weaknesses; and that he was a saint for staying with me. I hardly write in it now because I spend a lot less time online, but I should get back into that again. Sometimes I miss how poorly she made me feel. Oh, they miss you so much more than they’re letting on. I rebelled against it myself for literally an entire year and kept trying to reach out. I don't know if I should talk to him . But I had heard of breadcrumbs and while it was tempting to throw myself open to him again, I knew it wouldn't help. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you still have feelings for someone from your past. That's unhealthy, but it's there. I really miss him a lot, Mr Bradley, please tell me what to do… Sincerely,-Regina Tinklehorn” We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I think about her a lot. He'll always be a part of you. Break ups are a tremendous catalyst for change and redefining who you are and what you value, and the healing and redefining your sense of self can't be helped by the person you were once with. Do not tell her that you miss her… 1. Trust is a crazy thing. He would text […] So anyways- the whole deal with my parents I believed resulted in a perceived need to help someone, because I can never truly help my dad, I instinctively gravitate to people who are depressed/need help in some way; both in romantic relationships and friendships. ive been dating another guy for a little over 6 months but i still think about my ex alot more than i should. I'm dating a new girl now, and she's great to/for me. So, let’s talk about some more scenarios where you should absolutely avoid telling her you that you miss her. I'm in the same boat, a little less time. He took this very badly, and said some hurtful things to me via social media (not facebook, his tumblr). Everyday it's a little easier to think about her as an ex. Right? Some days are better than others; some days he isn't on my mind at all. He didn't tell me why he broke up with me. I link it to my childhood and watching my dad treat my mom and myself as I grew up, and eventually becoming an outlet for his frustrations as I got older. Yeah, I really struggled with whether or not to contact him for the reason of letting go of something that -could- be fixable with more effort that you stated above. Does My Ex Miss Me As Much As I Miss Them? It keeps getting easier to move on. I'm glad my gut instinct to just let it pass is good here. .. . You don't need to tell him unless it's impacting your day to day life... Outside of that go create something beautiful. I miss our conversations, his smell, his voice, everything about him I miss. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. He left me for someone else and after that it was it for me even though he said to just wait for him. I broke things off for the final time around a year and a half ago, haven't seen him in around two years (LDR) and haven't spoken to him regularly in a year. We should grab a beer to celebrate, my treat :)" If you are really missing being friends with your ex, then this is a great text to send when you find out that they've accomplished something cool! I don't think a final letter would help and just stir the pot unnecessarily, plus the message it would send to my current boyfriend would be that I'm still not over him, and I don't think that would be good. Despite the fact that I miss him, I don't think he could exist as a friend in my current life. I Miss Him So Much It Hurts - Should I Tell My Ex I Miss Him - Duration: 6:22. He's also emailed/texted, but I've never responded. Start a journal and keep track of your thoughts there. I’m going to tell you what I told her, “No, you shouldn’t.” And here’s why… A little background for reference: So I finally had the strength to go no contact with him, I initiated it after he told me he was already talking to someone new, it was so hard but felt like the right thing to do for myself. I can tell you my experience. He had blamed me for all that went wrong in the relationship; saying that I didn't communicate enough and that I didn't put in enough effort. Once I moved out, I had a lot of realizations in regards to how my home life shaped me as a person and cultivated certain attitudes in me. In a separate text right after that one, I asked him if we could talk, and he lied and said it wasn't his number. She'll always be a part of me. Also covered is if your ex boyfriend or husband wants to hear that you’re missing and if he misses you too. So you're reading this and probably going, what the hell? It feels so contradictory to have those feelings, though- I'm really happy and in a healthy relationship, so logically I shouldn't be missing a person who made me unhappy a good portion of the time. If you’re here reading this, then I’m sure you also want to know if you should tell your ex you miss him. My ex was my best friend and I still care for him. Should I tell my ex happy birthday? He was always there for me and I was always there for him. I feel like my life is over! My brain has been trying to tell my heart to forget about him; that he wasn't right for me and he manipulated my emotions. I miss my ex Girlfriend: What to do now ? I agree that healing has to be done individually. Maybe a physical journal would get me back into it. Hey friend, my heart bleeds for you. I miss her being mad about stupid stuff. I love him, and miss him very much right now as he is home for the holidays. More reasons why you should not tell her that you miss her. Then roughly two months later I sent him one final text saying that our time together meant a lot to me, that I wouldn't contact him again, and that I wish the best for him. That being said I have a very, "don't rock the boat" personality and sometimes need outside confirmation of when things need to be said. Thanks for taking the time to write a thoughtful response. But I still miss my ex sometimes. Yes, sadly there are times when it is not okay to send a text or call him to tell him that you miss him. I never meant to imply that I don't appreciate what I have right now, by any reasonable account it is much better than what I had before. I wrote out all the thoughts I hadn't said in a long letter a while back, and tossed it in the ocean instead of sending it to see if that would help, but it only helped momentarily. I want to tell him how I feel but I'm afraid I either won't get a response or I won't get the response I'm looking for. Needing NC but should i tell him i went thru his phone? Reply. I know better now, but it shaped (and probably still shapes) my choices in men for a long time. I desperately wanted to, and some nights I felt like I couldn't sleep unless I did it, but I resisted it because I knew in my heart it wouldn't go anywhere unless he met me halfway. You miss hearing your phone buzz and picking it up to see a familiar name that's just popping in to say hey. One thing I've noticed in myself is that the people I've fallen the hardest for and had the hardest time getting over have been the people who haven't treated me well, which thankfully has only been two people including the ex I'm talking about. I was so, so tempted to text back 'I miss you too' in hopes he wanted to come back. I miss my ex so badly, and I really don’t know what to do. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. i feel like it's just always on my mind. But you can’t confess that you still miss your ex, knowing well that they were abusive. I also think the feelings are fleeting, and as such I should just let it pass. What can I do to kick it and make these dreams/feelings take a hike? My theories for why I still miss him are: -I like helping others with their problems, and I feel like I can still help him in some way, -My life was more fast-paced and exciting (I lived in a dorm in the city) when I was with him, and I crave those old feelings back, -I'm viewing the relationship through rose-colored glasses because of how much time has passed; the bad parts aren't in the forefront of my mind, -I simply care about him a lot and miss his presence in my life even though he wasn't good for me, -His manipulation of my emotions is still affecting me now (maybe? I called his number to see if it was a different voicemail, but it was the same one. Well, here's the kicker: we were best friends before dating; we'd talk for hours and hours until the wee hours of the morning and never get bored. I miss my ex so much. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving a woman. I'm trying to figure out why I still miss him, ten months later. It is okay to tell your ex that you miss them but only if you know that it is really what you want to do. Don’t think that you miss him because you should be with him. There is always the mourning of the passing of a dream. . Just don't let those feelings tempt you to going back to being in a bad situation. My ex (24M) and i (23F) broke up almost 2 months now? I used to really look up to my dad, from when I was young to about mid-high school, but I realized he was a terrible role model. Feelings don't obey logic, though. I could always use improvement, but I feel like a solidly good person. . As we’ve seen throughout this article, it’s normal to miss your ex girlfriend even weeks or months after a break-up. They miss all of that stuff too. I was in the same situation but it was more than six months after our break up, and now we are really good friends taking it slow and seeing what may come of our friendship. You won't make any progress if the other person isn't willing to talk to you. I ended I because he would really commit like I wanted. I miss feeling guilty when I shouldn't. recently ive been trying to just forget about him, move on, and realize how great my boyfriend now is... until i just had a dream about my ex. I miss her making me feel like an idiot for a simple mistake. Tag Archives: should i tell my ex i miss her. Missing my ex has a new girlfriend who he 's madly in love with pros and,! Ve talked enough about why you should be with him, but I 've been thinking about him miss. 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